I took some photos of my gemstones yesterday. Here's one and its name is Labradorite.

Letters of My Life: B is for Books

I love to read, yet I’m slow with it thanks to the ADD. It takes me about 6-12 months to read a book no matter how interesting it is to me. Also I have many books in process at the same time. Currently I’m reading a book about positive psychology, Douglas Coupland’s Jpod, Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence and Tony Dunderfelt’s Intuition.


Like you can see, I prefer non-fiction books more than fiction. Which is a little bit contradictory for someone who is a fiction writer. Or is it? Anyhow, I’m just so much more interested about non-fiction. It inspires me with my own work so much more than fiction. Even though I love fiction too, but for me it’s more of a way of spending time. Non-fiction helps you to learn new things more actively.


Especially books about psychology related things and occultism are my favorites. I used to read lots of poetry, but lately I haven’t been so much into it. My favorite fiction writer so far has been Douglas Coupland. He has the greatest sense of black and ironic humor!

Seagulls

Every night this same time (4am) a gang of seagulls arrives to hang around at the neighborhood. They make lots of noise. And they fight. And about 4:30-45am they are gone to 'hoods more far away. This is the first year this happens here. There's not even a lake or sea very close here.

But they just hang around. So may it be.

Letters of My Life: A is for ADD

I've had ADD (which is like ADHD, but without the H of hyperactivity) all my life, however I got diagnosed only about half year ago, at age of 25. Getting the diagnosis felt extremely weird but at the same time it helped me to understand many things. Also the medicine has increased my ability to concentrate. Which has been a huge deal for me, especially when it comes to studies. I can handle the uncomfortable social situations when I'm supposed to listen but can't concentrate at all. Because I'm so used to them. But at studies it's double as uncomfortable when you can't concentrate no matter how hard you tried.

For a person with AD(H)D it's not a matter of will or amount of interest to the subject but a neurological inability to concentrate, and it can't be effected with willpower.

Letters of My Life: The Start

Related to my latest post, I decided to keep my blog updated little bit more often by starting with the classic idea "letters of my life".

Bad stubborn blogger

The thing that makes me a bad blogger is that I seem to wait always the subject that is "bigger than life". And while waiting for it or thinking how to form my thoughts to text, I usually get frustrated. While spending today lots of time reading the blogs of other people, I realize that even the smallest every-day things can be interesting. And even the idea of interesting is strongly a matter of opinion.

These simple thoughts have taken so long for me to realize - or maybe I realized them, but was just too stubborn to accept them. Stubborn. My wife often calls me that way and I know she's right, even if I didn't always admit it aloud. ;)

Hi, I'm Elise! But who am I?

While updating the description of myself for this blog, I realized that I always start all my profiles by introducing myself as a student of film making. This time something in me whispered that it's not right.

Somehow in the Finnish culture one's career has become the main thing we identify ourselves and each others. It has become such a subconscious thing that I haven't even thought it before. And I know it's highly common in Finland and probably in many other (capitalistic) countries too.

So, as I'm many other ways disgusted by materialistic life style, noticing this habit in myself made me want to change it. But it wasn't as easy as I thought it'd be.

When I asked myself the basic question who am I, huge amount of words and definitions popped up to my mind. But when I tried to start my profile text with them, I noticed they all felt somehow wrong...

Hi! I'm Elise, 25 years old eclectic pagan.... Ok, this sounds like I'm about to tell about my religion next, and a lot of it in the posts of this blog. Which, I definitely don't want to do. It's one of the most important things in my life, and at the same time it's one of the rare things I share only with few carefully chosen people.

Hi! I'm Elise, 25 years old wife --... This sounds like I was a no-life house wife, who is going to write every 2nd hour about how I washed the dishes and waited my beloved to come home.

Hi! I'm Elise, 25 years old photographer... Doesn't this sound like I was a pro, with my own studio or something? I wish I was, but I'm not. It's a precious hobby for me, but is it proper to start introducing myself with it?

Hi! I'm Elise, 25 years old girl who has three cats... Iiiiiih kitties! I love them, but this blog does neither tell about them. (At least not so much.) At this point all the pet blog haters would've vanished like a fart on a windy desert.

Hi! I'm Elise, 25 years old friend of the greatest people on Earth... Hey, I actually really dig this! But does it give a wrong idea of the blog, once again?

It caused me a headache for a moment before I decided that I won't give a shit anymore about it. In the end, I'm all these things and so much more. In future, I should start introducing myself every time with a different first definition. Film student is not any more or less important than the others.

I love good quotes and once in a while I make this kind of images with them. Just for fun, and for the love of wise, deep, interesting and beautiful thoughts. :) You can freely copy and post these quote pictures anywhere you wish to. I create them to be shared forward.

Is there such thing as 100% straight or 100% gay?

This is an old post from my Tumblr blog, which I deleted few months ago. Written on Autumn 2011.

Photo: See-ming Lee / WikiCommons

No. I’m highly convinced that everyone of us has a little bit of attraction to both genders. It doesn’t mean that everybody was 100% bisexual. But there is so much gray area between straight and gay, that thinking yourself 100% one of these is very black and white thinking. Let’s explain little more:

Just like anima and animus, we all have our straight and homosexual sides. A lesbian can find certain kind of men attractive, but could never be dating them. The attraction is real, but only attraction is not enough for a healthy relationship. A straight man can find their best buddy so sweet that sometimes “what if…” comes up to their mind.

Actually the reason why some straight people are so homophobic, is that they don’t accept their inner gay-side. By accepting homosexuals they would have to face this part of themselves, and as they are too afraid of it, they transform their fear to hate. Which, in the end, is nothing but cheating their own selves with expense of others.
What makes, imo, the difference whether you call yourself straight, bi, or lesbian comes from the thing if you are able to have a full relationship with one or both genders.

What I consider as a full relationship is when you are able to be in love (mental) and at the same time you feel physical attraction and are able to have sex with your partner. Love without physical attraction, or opposite, is an incomplete relationship and cannot lead to a long time happy relationship.

Personally I'm able to have a mental crush on men, but the big issue is that I don’t find a male body attractive at all (only the head sometimes xD). Therefore thinking about sex with a man feels really unnatural to me. As opposite, with a woman I can have all the parts: physical attraction and pure love.

So I consider myself a lesbian, who has a hint of bisexual in herself. Or like I once said: "In theory I'm a bisexual, but practically I'm a lesbian."