Perfection

Why do we people desperately reach for perfection, when nothing in this world really is perfect? Perfection is only an illusion. And even if it wasn't, doesn't it sound in the end like a very boring, plastic thing? Perfection?

Like a wise person once said to me: 

"The real perfection is found in imperfection."

Kekri Preparations

This is my Kekri altar with decorations
in 2011.

Moi!

It's time for me to start preparing for Kekri. Kekri is an old Finnish pagan celebration, which is quite similar to Samhain, Dia de los Muertos and many other celebrations around the world celebrated in the start of November. For ancient Finns Kekri was the celebration of harvest, and therefore also the celebration of a new year. One of it's traditions was to invite the spirits of the dead family members to join the celebration.

Finnish neo-pagans celebrate Kekri nowadays in the start of November, more precisely from the 1st to 3rd of November. To me it's one of the most important celebrations among Juhannus (Midsummer) and Joulu (or Yule).

As an Eclectic Pagan I don't follow any certain tradition purely. My Kekri celebration is centered around two things: 1) my altar and 2) a Kekri dinner with my family. (My mother is a Pagan too. The others are Christians and Atheists, but they still follow the long tradition of Kekri - but without the clearly pagan sides obviously.)

I traditionally start preparing my altar already about a week before Kekri. I clean it (both, physically and spiritually) and decorate it. And when the Kekri days finally arrive, I meditate, make a ritual and sacrifice for my gods and goddesses. [No, I don't kill humans nor other animals as a sacrifice. That's a very inaccurate stereotype about Pagans created by popular culture. :P]

One important and fun part of the tradition for me is the decoration of my altar. I enjoy doing lots of different kinds of handicraft, and every year I want to do something different and fun. This year I'll most probably make my altar very colorful. Colorfulness to me symbolizes happiness, adventures, learning and the joy of life. One just can't embrace those things too much. ^^ But otherwise the decorations and rituals are something I'm just starting to plan more precisely. I have no clearer ideas yet.

What comes to the rituals, they're something I won't publish in this blog. I have a principle that I keep the most important parts and details of my personal spirituality within myself. I can talk about them with certain people, but it's just as personal to me as - for example - details of one's sex life would be for someone else. You don't share those things to all of the world. ;)

After the 'I Should Go To Sleep' O'Clock

What happens between "I should go to sleep" o'clock and "I sleep" o'clock.


00:00 I should go to sleep... Oh, I should also paint my nails.

00:05 I start making a new website.

00:45 I find a nice picture of my mom. I start photoshopping it.

02:30 I have photoshopped 3 photos besides the one of my mom.

02:35 I continue with the website.

03:00 I start writing the version 2 of my screenplay.

03:15 I continue with the website.

03:25 I'm hungry. Cooking noodles.

03:45 I continue writing the screenplay.


04:15 I continue with the website.

05:00 I will go to sleep in a moment.

05:05 Oh! I must give the cat his medicine!

05:40 Now I go to sleep. I turn off my computer.

05:45 Oh, I was supposed to paint my nails. I shall do it now.

06:00 I sit on the sofa, waiting for the nail polish to dry.

06:05 I read news with my cellphone.

06:30 I go to bed. And get lots of good ideas for what to do when I wake up.

About 07:15 I sleep.

Here, Mini Mini Mini!

I bought today this lovely tiny mortar for herbs <3 It's perfect with my mini cauldron, too. Now I want something else for my mini collection. ^^

Mini mortar

Mini cauldron

Film maker's crisis, or catharsis?

The feeling when you had been excited making a highly personal film for a year, and when it's just about to be finished, you suddenly become super insecure, panic and feel like canceling the whole thing. *face palm*

With screenplays this feeling comes to me typically in the middle of the process and is much more bearable than now that the project is already finished. Oh well, if it goes like usually, in few days or weeks I start feeling better again.

I just wonder, why does this horrible feeling come with all the films/screenplays I make? Is it just some sort of artistic suffering I just need to experience at least once during the project? Some sort of catharsis? And do other filmmakers have similar experiences or am I just overly sensitive about my creations?

About Weekend @ Cottage and Some Bigger Dreams

This weekend I spent some time at my classmate's summer cottage. It has become a tradition for my class to spend some quality time once or twice a year at someone's cottage.



I dream about having my own cottage too, or even living in that kind of an environment. Only thing is that I'm not ready (yet) to let go of some habits and opportunities this city life offers. For example, I dislike the idea of having a car. Yet lately I have started to feel so much will to go to driving school and to buy a car. I have an inner contradictory about it, because I really find cars unnecessary in a city and also bad for the environment. On the other hand I have started to feel so much interest for being able to go anywhere without being dependent of the public transportation. Also, I could go to places with my friends where we normally can't go. I'm afraid that the car would make me really lazy. I have seen it happening to so many people. Well, to most drivers.



I have noticed this pattern in my life, that every Autumn I start feeling the need of strong life changes. Or not necessarily such permanent changes, but for example now I just feel like I wanted to do certain things I haven't done in quite a long time. Like I needed so much action, adventure, excitement. Or meeting new interesting people. Or "old" people who just never were that close before and making them closer. For most people summer seems to be "the" time, but to me it's Autumn. Like the birds fly to Southern countries every Autumn, I want to fly too and come back next Spring. Less or more metaphorically speaking. :)

Let's see what it is that will happen. But I definitely need something exciting and enjoyable to bring lightness into this darkening season. I can't stay still.