Is there such thing as 100% straight or 100% gay?

This is an old post from my Tumblr blog, which I deleted few months ago. Written on Autumn 2011.

Photo: See-ming Lee / WikiCommons

No. I’m highly convinced that everyone of us has a little bit of attraction to both genders. It doesn’t mean that everybody was 100% bisexual. But there is so much gray area between straight and gay, that thinking yourself 100% one of these is very black and white thinking. Let’s explain little more:

Just like anima and animus, we all have our straight and homosexual sides. A lesbian can find certain kind of men attractive, but could never be dating them. The attraction is real, but only attraction is not enough for a healthy relationship. A straight man can find their best buddy so sweet that sometimes “what if…” comes up to their mind.

Actually the reason why some straight people are so homophobic, is that they don’t accept their inner gay-side. By accepting homosexuals they would have to face this part of themselves, and as they are too afraid of it, they transform their fear to hate. Which, in the end, is nothing but cheating their own selves with expense of others.
What makes, imo, the difference whether you call yourself straight, bi, or lesbian comes from the thing if you are able to have a full relationship with one or both genders.

What I consider as a full relationship is when you are able to be in love (mental) and at the same time you feel physical attraction and are able to have sex with your partner. Love without physical attraction, or opposite, is an incomplete relationship and cannot lead to a long time happy relationship.

Personally I'm able to have a mental crush on men, but the big issue is that I don’t find a male body attractive at all (only the head sometimes xD). Therefore thinking about sex with a man feels really unnatural to me. As opposite, with a woman I can have all the parts: physical attraction and pure love.

So I consider myself a lesbian, who has a hint of bisexual in herself. Or like I once said: "In theory I'm a bisexual, but practically I'm a lesbian."