Film maker's crisis, or catharsis?

The feeling when you had been excited making a highly personal film for a year, and when it's just about to be finished, you suddenly become super insecure, panic and feel like canceling the whole thing. *face palm*

With screenplays this feeling comes to me typically in the middle of the process and is much more bearable than now that the project is already finished. Oh well, if it goes like usually, in few days or weeks I start feeling better again.

I just wonder, why does this horrible feeling come with all the films/screenplays I make? Is it just some sort of artistic suffering I just need to experience at least once during the project? Some sort of catharsis? And do other filmmakers have similar experiences or am I just overly sensitive about my creations?

Hi, I'm Elise! But who am I?

While updating the description of myself for this blog, I realized that I always start all my profiles by introducing myself as a student of film making. This time something in me whispered that it's not right.

Somehow in the Finnish culture one's career has become the main thing we identify ourselves and each others. It has become such a subconscious thing that I haven't even thought it before. And I know it's highly common in Finland and probably in many other (capitalistic) countries too.

So, as I'm many other ways disgusted by materialistic life style, noticing this habit in myself made me want to change it. But it wasn't as easy as I thought it'd be.

When I asked myself the basic question who am I, huge amount of words and definitions popped up to my mind. But when I tried to start my profile text with them, I noticed they all felt somehow wrong...

Hi! I'm Elise, 25 years old eclectic pagan.... Ok, this sounds like I'm about to tell about my religion next, and a lot of it in the posts of this blog. Which, I definitely don't want to do. It's one of the most important things in my life, and at the same time it's one of the rare things I share only with few carefully chosen people.

Hi! I'm Elise, 25 years old wife --... This sounds like I was a no-life house wife, who is going to write every 2nd hour about how I washed the dishes and waited my beloved to come home.

Hi! I'm Elise, 25 years old photographer... Doesn't this sound like I was a pro, with my own studio or something? I wish I was, but I'm not. It's a precious hobby for me, but is it proper to start introducing myself with it?

Hi! I'm Elise, 25 years old girl who has three cats... Iiiiiih kitties! I love them, but this blog does neither tell about them. (At least not so much.) At this point all the pet blog haters would've vanished like a fart on a windy desert.

Hi! I'm Elise, 25 years old friend of the greatest people on Earth... Hey, I actually really dig this! But does it give a wrong idea of the blog, once again?

It caused me a headache for a moment before I decided that I won't give a shit anymore about it. In the end, I'm all these things and so much more. In future, I should start introducing myself every time with a different first definition. Film student is not any more or less important than the others.