Film maker's crisis, or catharsis?

The feeling when you had been excited making a highly personal film for a year, and when it's just about to be finished, you suddenly become super insecure, panic and feel like canceling the whole thing. *face palm*

With screenplays this feeling comes to me typically in the middle of the process and is much more bearable than now that the project is already finished. Oh well, if it goes like usually, in few days or weeks I start feeling better again.

I just wonder, why does this horrible feeling come with all the films/screenplays I make? Is it just some sort of artistic suffering I just need to experience at least once during the project? Some sort of catharsis? And do other filmmakers have similar experiences or am I just overly sensitive about my creations?

About Weekend @ Cottage and Some Bigger Dreams

This weekend I spent some time at my classmate's summer cottage. It has become a tradition for my class to spend some quality time once or twice a year at someone's cottage.



I dream about having my own cottage too, or even living in that kind of an environment. Only thing is that I'm not ready (yet) to let go of some habits and opportunities this city life offers. For example, I dislike the idea of having a car. Yet lately I have started to feel so much will to go to driving school and to buy a car. I have an inner contradictory about it, because I really find cars unnecessary in a city and also bad for the environment. On the other hand I have started to feel so much interest for being able to go anywhere without being dependent of the public transportation. Also, I could go to places with my friends where we normally can't go. I'm afraid that the car would make me really lazy. I have seen it happening to so many people. Well, to most drivers.



I have noticed this pattern in my life, that every Autumn I start feeling the need of strong life changes. Or not necessarily such permanent changes, but for example now I just feel like I wanted to do certain things I haven't done in quite a long time. Like I needed so much action, adventure, excitement. Or meeting new interesting people. Or "old" people who just never were that close before and making them closer. For most people summer seems to be "the" time, but to me it's Autumn. Like the birds fly to Southern countries every Autumn, I want to fly too and come back next Spring. Less or more metaphorically speaking. :)

Let's see what it is that will happen. But I definitely need something exciting and enjoyable to bring lightness into this darkening season. I can't stay still.

10 Songs for Today

1 Sesto Sento vs. Apocalypse - Changing Gravity

2 Sesto Sento - Happy People Happy Music

3 Manu Chao - Me Llaman Calle

4 Dunderpatrullen - Taekwondo Princess

5 Sesto Sento - P.L.U.R.

6 Unicorn Kid - 8 Bytes

7 Unicorn Kid - Animal City

8 Lindsey Stirling - Elements

9 Lindsey Stirling - Crystallize

10 Lindsey Stirling - Shadows

The Little Things I Enjoy in Life

Inspired by my latest post, I decided to list some of the little things I enjoy in life. In the end, being able to enjoy the small seeming things is the main path to happiness.

• Waking up and noticing that all the cats sleep next to me (or on top of me x) )
• Cooking and eating together with my wife
• Helping a friend
• Having a dinner with my mom and other family, eating the food my mom has cooked
• Getting an inspiration for a story
• Flow mode when I write
• Having thoughtful conversations with a dear friend
• Realizing or learning something new and interesting
• Finding a new exciting and useful software
• The peaceful moment when you wake up at Saturday morning without a rush
• When I find money from the bottom of my bag or from an old wallet
• Exchanging smiles with a stranger
• Meeting a new interesting person
• People laughing at my joke
• Making someone smile
• Holding hands with the person I love
• Winning in Left 4 Dead without dying once
• Succeeding to kill the witch of L4D2 before it hurts me
• Listening to Castle Crashers game soundtrack
• Autumn leaf colors
• At Spring, seeing the birds coming back to Finland
• Seeing an awesome film (both, documentary or fiction)
• Finding a new tv-series, which seems super good
• After waiting for a week, seeing the next episode of my favorite tv-series. 
• Sending a postcard to a stranger (postcrossing.com)
• Receiving a postcard from a stranger
• The first sip of fresh orange juice
• The first bite of something that surprises you by its deliciousness
• Watching the sunset
• Watching the Moon
• Walking in a forest
• Watching big mountains
• Going to summer cottage
• Sitting on a quay, keeping the feet in the water while watching the lake.
• First snow

And lots more. :) Might continue this post later. Now, here's some Castle Crashers music for you...

Sleeping with the cats

I love the moments when I wake up and notice that all the cats are sleeping next to me. :) Those priceless little moments of life.

Jimmy

Jamie

Purro (on a chair next to the bed)

Finland vs. Mexico TOP 5 things I like the most about them

People often ask me to compare Finland and Mexico. So, here's a little bit of comparing from my point of view.

IMPORTANT NOTE!! Though it should become clear from the text and anyways be self-evident if you read it with an open mind, I will still underline, that these things are the typical situation, but in each cases each country of course has their exceptions. "Exception that proves the rule." I mention it already now, because people who get easily provoked often don't want to see this unless it's directly said to them.

TOP 5 things I like about Finland  that Mexico doesn't have (that much)

• Safety. Finland is super safe place to live compared to Mexico. You don't need to be paranoid when you go outside even at night. You can be a woman, alone outside, at night, at quiet street, and still the possibility of anything bad happening to you is extremely small. I love to take walks outside at night alone. In Mexico currently it's extremely dangerous to go outside even at daytime. And even at your own house you can't count on safety, because it's very common that houses are robbed. Violence of Mexico is the main reason why we live in Finland now with my wife.
  
  When I was in Mexico 2 years ago for almost 3 months, I had to stay locked inside our house most of the summer, if I had nobody local to "babysit" me. Going to the closest market in 100m from our house alone was already a risk, and I had to be extremely careful and conscious about people around me. Also I had been only about a week in Monterrey, when I saw a first shot human body. (._.) It's impossible to explain the violence for Finns, who have never lived in such country. We're simply too used to safeness to survive alone in Mexico. Safety is what I really enjoy, appreciate and love about Finland.

• Support by government. If you get unemployed it's not the end of the world, because our government gives you money for living until you find a new job. If you're a student, you don't have to go to work at the same time, because the government gives you money to live with during your studies. If you get pregnant, government gives you money because of the small baby so that you don't need to go to work after it's born or you're not dependent of your husband. If you get sick or have a handicap, our government helps your special needs by giving money and sometimes other services too. Financially, it's way easier to live here at times of trouble. In Mexico you're totally screwed, if you have no work. Such thing as government supporting you financially don't exist there.

• Nature. Mexicans have destroyed most of their nature. Mexicans lack the respect and enjoyment of Nature that Finns still have. Based on Wikipedia, 77% of Finland is forests, and from the remaining 23% huge part is lakes, rivers, etc. Most Finns really embrace the nature and it's goods, and even environmental/nature protection is here a matter of a law. Finns usually try their best to live in harmony with all the nature around them.

• The studies are free for you, if you live in Finland. In theory, that gives everybody the option to study no matter if your family could pay it for you or not. In Mexico you must go work or have a rich family to be able to study, and because of that it's typical that people who get to study, are unable to finish their studies.

• Freedom of speech seems to be more appreciated in Finland than in Mexico. Including human rights.  In Finland the laws mostly protect gay rights, freedom of religion, rights of the sick and people of different ages, etc. If you're a gay outside the closet, it's way easier in Finland than in Mexico. Being openly gay, for example, can be even very dangerous for you in Mexico. It's quite typical that if you're a gay, your family rejects you (Mexicans are much more religious than Finns). In Mexico certain things just aren't acceptable, like being a pagan, an atheist or a gay. You can get lots of trouble to admit being one of those. In Finland, I don't even have to be careful if I walk hand in hand with my wife, or kiss her at public place. If someone even says something about it, most probable thing would be "Awwww, look at that lesbian couple, aren't they cute." This is at least at the capital area. Countryside is less open-minded, but I don't know enough of it to tell more.

TOP 5 things I like about Mexico that Finland doesn't have (that much)

• Openness/sincerity. Telling someone "Hey, I like you, Ernesto" even if you're not super close friends is completely normal for Mexicans. In Finland, that will be taken as "I love you and I will haunt you until you start loving me!" or as a try to hit on the person. In Mexico it's completely normal to sit next to another person even if there's lots of empty chairs around you, more far away. In Finland, sitting next to someone is the last option unless you're very close friends/family. Actually, in busses many people even prefer standing, if they don't have the two free seats to overtake. It makes typically Finnish people uncomfortable, if anyone touches them in any way. I even have good friends who I've known for maaany years, but I still can't hug them when meeting without making them feel uncomfortable. Also, In Mexico you always give cheek kisses to all new people you meet, even if you didn't know them personally. In Finland this would most possibly cause you to be charged for sexual harassment.

• Positiveness. Positive feelings and happenings are shown, enjoyed and shared with people. In Finland if you're telling positive things, you'll be easily counted as an arrogant and "fake" person. Something I can't understand. Sharing your happiness with others should be a good thing.

• Values. In Mexico, family and friends are THE number 1, and things like work come only after that. This is how I think it should be. In Finland it's usually opposite. Your value as human is based on your job title and how much you pay taxes, and it's extremely typical that people don't even stay contacted with their family. Even if they're ok with their family, it's typical that some people visit their parents three times a year or even more rarely. In Mexico you're a horrible person if you don't visit your family weekly, or at least few times a month. The family includes also your cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. who typically make an amount of 50+ of people. In Finland, many have no contact to others but their parents and grandparents, and "family" means typically only your children, parents and maybe grandparents.
  
  In Mexico, if you get sick, you can be sure that you have many family members visiting you, taking care of you while you try to recover. In Finland, nobody visits you unless you're almost about to die or otherwise seriously sick (serious cancer, etc). And even if you're about to die, you might be left alone. There's lots of lonely old people, who die in institutions without anybody from the family visiting them. In Mexico, when you get old your children take care of you, you live with them, at their house. Mexicans think, that because their parents took care of them for their childhood and teenage, they owe and want to do the same to their parents. Like my wife says, "When my mother becomes old, it's kinda like she becomes my child - I'll be the one taking care of her". In Finland this would be "a weird and distressing idea" for most.

• Trust to goodness in people. Despite all the violence and fear, the normal people are very caring towards others. Also strangers. You can trust, that if something happened to you, for example a heart attack in the center of the city, there will be huge amount of people immediately around you, helping you the best they can. In Finland it's sadly usual, that if you saw a man lying on a street, you just looked at it, but walked away. This is the most horrible thing. Or if someone mugged you, possibility that someone who saw your situation would help you is actually quite small. In Mexico you can trust, that there are always strangers taking care of you at such horrible moment.

So, as a summary, Finland is a safe place to live because our government is so well built. Even though people whine about it often, but it's only because they have never seen how things are outside Finland. This country is built for financial success, and it's at least in theory easy to make a career here, if you have the right kind of personality for that. You don't need to worry about being homeless, discriminated at different services, etc. The level of safety is one of the best in the world, and can't be left without a positive note.

However, because of the strong capitalism and also the small amount of people in a big country, people are really comfortable with their isolation and egoistic lifestyle, which leads to indifference at some levels of social communication and caring.

To me the greatest thing in Mexico is the openess and warmth you can sense since the first day you arrive. It's easier to be happy and optimistic in Mexico, even though it's so dangerous there. Mexicans behave as members of their community, at the caring kind of level. Whereas Finns work as a member of the team but usually at the financial way.

The saddest thing about Mexico is the violence, that seems to be quite impossible to overcome because of the huge corruption of the government. I suppose the normal people take so well care of each others, because they know that otherwise nobody does.

Giving Constructive Feedback is a Skill

Giving feedback for a creative work sounds like an easy thing. You just tell if you liked it or not. Right? Well, not if you want to give the kind of feedback that'll be taken seriously and really considered - pro feedback. Especially all of us who give feedback as a part of our job need to learn how to give it effective and constructive way.

The basic pattern of constructive feedback goes like this.

1. Tell what was good and why. What works, and why.
It's very typical that people who don't know how to give feedback start it by telling all the things they didn't like. It seems like the easiest way. This, however, makes the creator of the work easily get in the defensive mode. We must remember that all creative - especially artistic - work is way or another extremely personal for the artist. By starting with the things that were good and worked well, you get the creator of the work feel more probably open to receive the less happy feedback that is about to come next. You don't want her/him to start blocking your comments for the rest of the feedback.

2. Tell what needs to be reconsidered and why. What doesn't work currently, and why.
Instead of listing all the things that are "bad" about the work, tell what doesn't work and why. It's highly recommended and effective way to use questions to make the creator realize the things that don't work.

For example. If we have a screenplay with a protagonist that has potential, but seems still really flat: Instead of simply telling "That character is flat", you can express and define it better by saying "What kind of past does that character have?", "What kind of personality he is?", "What is his weakness? And strength?", "What does he want, and what does he actually need?" With these questions it's much more probable that the writer will realize by himself that he hasn't thought about his character enough. And if he really is passionate about his writing, he gets most likely very inspired by the helpful questions.

Another important thing is the ability of giving some ideas after telling what doesn't work. "I think it'd be useful for you to make a background story for this character. For example, I could see him working as a dentist earlier, but got fired because of a dramatic mistake he made. He thinks it wasn't fair. That's why he has that hate towards people with bad teeth - they remind him about the customer whose..." This doesn't mean that the creator needs to automatically take the option you gave. The point is to help the creator to expand his thinking, coming out from the box. Because an extremely common thing in all long-term creative work is that the creator becomes "blind" to his creation as he has been spending long time with it already and can't have objective eyes on it anymore.

3. In the ending, tell one thing (or more) that was good in your opinion or what makes you excited.
The goal in this is to leave the creator with a positive mind, and considering the feedback helpful.

Few other things to remember

• No matter what opinion you say, always remember to tell the reason why you think so. Even with the positive feedback. By telling "I (don't) like this thing" you don't really tell anything helpful or constructive. Only thing it causes is an emotion/reaction towards you, him and/or the creation. However, when you tell "I like this, because it gives a whole new level to the story, as it's a really strong contrast and therefore creates interesting tension between the characters", the creator understand what you mean. 
• Especially people with strong feeling of their own authority towards the creator whose work is being evaluated tend to easily go to the rude/arrogant (=easy) mode about the things that don't work. However, by saying "This story sucks" is far away from professional attitude and doesn't help the creator to make the story better in any way.
• Be sincere and avoid mixed messages. Being sincere however is not the same as letting all frogs come out from your mouth without thinking first. Sincere is about being able to stand behind your words. If you don't like the antagonist wearing a sombrero, don't claim you like it or that it's ok.
• If possible, prepare to the feedback situation beforehand!

Most importantly: Remember that the main point of giving feedback is helping the creator of the work to improve his work and skills. You're the objective eyes, the one who sees the creation from distance, from audience's point of view - that's what every creator needs like air in a long term process. If your main reason to give feedback isn't helping to improve the creation, then most probably you're not the right person to give feedback.


Feel free to write in the comments more of the important things I might or most probably have forgotten to mention!


Another very important thing is how to take feedback. It'll be one of my next posts!

Hasta luego! :)

Power Animals #1 The Rabbit

Yes, I'm good at drawing with mouse. xD

The Rabbit

Power: fear

The rabbit has one theme over others: fear. The rabbit is a vegetarian, but it’s food for many meat eating creatures, including the human. The rabbit is fast breeding and the children are already able to move after their birth.

The Rabbit has created its life so that it can live in fear. That takes courage. However, the Rabbit understands the limits of having too much courage: by being stupidly courageous, it would get soon eaten.  Quick reflexes and great observation skills are its two most important traits.

The rabbit-people are typically very fearful. They are supposed to learn through their fears. Sadly, some rabbit-people get too overwhelmed by their fears and let them take too much control. The Rabbit knows that the more you resist something, the more possibly it’ll happen to you. By being afraid of something, we actually attract it towards of us.

When the Rabbit appears to you, it has come your time to face your own fears. The power of the Rabbit helps you to overcome and learn from your fears. Stop predicting the negative things that “might happen” – by that you only really make them to happen.

You can for example write your fears down and face them that way. Instead of trying to push them away, face them by analyzing.

Rabbits lives are short and they take advantage of every moment to fulfill their destiny. With the power of the Rabbit you can also create positive suspension to your life. The Rabbit will push you to move – you can become active, hard-working and you can start making actions that prevent you from the need of worrying. The rabbit-people have lots of energy in themselves and with the guidance of the Rabbit, they can always find excitement to their lives.

The power of the Rabbit is also helpful for finding your sexual balance. You might have fears on that area, and the Rabbit helps you to overcome them too – you’ll get an emancipated and active sexual life.

Good News for the Readers Who Voted on the Poll

Hello! ^^ Because so far in the poll of this blog the Power Animals -theme has got most votes, I'll publish at least few posts about different power animals. :) All these posts are based on books and online information about the power animals as well as on my own long time experience. The more I have experience of the certain power animal, the more I can use also that.

Drawing Cats

It's been about 2-3 years since I draw last time, but yesterday I got inspired by my cats Jimmy and Purro. ;)